breathe

I'm looking at images of phoenixes now, on google...amazing the ways we will use what we have to search for hope...sometimes quite literally!
If only I could find a way to accompany these images of phoenixes (I have such a fascination with phoenixes...it is SO revolutionarily beautiful that they rise up from the flames and/or the ashes to create something far more exquisite) with the sound of the ocean, the scent of sage and lavendar, the feel of sunlight on my back and cool water on my toes…
sounds like i should go to the beach (and bring some sage and lavendar)…
but instead, i'll try again to ground myself in the space that i'm in.
healing is hard work. it is so much easier to run from the past, feel comfortable with disjointed memories and missing pieces of the story, call fear "anger," and just run, run away. not that anger isn't a valid emotion; but it usually doesn't travel alone…it has a necessary accompaniment…fear…sometimes politics…outrage…etc.
i keep reminding myself to breathe. my breath tends to get shallow when i get nervous, and it's only when i give it my full attention that i realize i'm barely inhaling…
breathe…. deep... breathe….
because somewhere in this air, there is hope and resilience.
and this is the oxygen we need to go on living.